HiBAiSHi

So after a couple away messages filled with strange Michael Vick references, my new roommate Ben (as I am officially removed from my housing requirement) leaves me a message and lets me know that we have a dog. She’s a pitbull pup named Penelope. She is eight weeks old. We are going to train it for dogfighting.

Oh Penelope, I will feed you mangos. She’s filled with air so that when she swallows oxygen, she floats up. I will volver with a present for you.

Hopefully this will help me overcome my fear of animals.

I have tickets to Paris on the holiday that you Americans refer to as Thanksgiving. I like to consider it the day you celebrating fucking over the indigenous people to achieve your manifest destiny. God I miss home. The last time I talked to these people, one of the girls wanted to go to EuroDisney because she had been to Paris so many times she wanted to see something else.

I also have tickets to Oslo and a return ticket from Stockholm. My parents have a horror story that they shared with me when they went to see the Nobel prize ceremony, about how it was cheaper to rent a car so they drove a while in the snow until they almost hit a truck and spun out in the road. Mm, scary.