HiBAiSHi

Before I left for Europe, I tried to make a list of places I wanted to go. Of course, I never got around to making that list because I simply didn’t care enough, but I did think about it a little bit. Telling people that I was spending a semester in London was a great conversation starter, and I met a girl who spent a year studying in Germany and told me that I should go to Oktoberfest. It’s world famous and all. So before I even left for Italy, I decided to convince some of my friends to set out again for Munich in late September.

Some things that you have to know about traveling:

1. Always bring enough underwear
2. Don’t pack too much so you can bring stuff back
3. Remember your fucking passport

Before we left, Tai decided to break rule number 3 and had to scramble back up to the flat while we waited in the nearby tube stop. Drenched in sweat, we barely make it onto the District Line (read: caught in the doors of the train) and arrive to find a late Stansted Express that would get us to the airport with two minutes before Ryanair doesn’t allow you to check in anymore (Ryanair, always on time). We actually have to run towards our gate because it’s so far away and fortunately are the last to board the plane. The lesson: bring your passport.

I also learned that Austrian/German breakfast is so much better than Italian breakfast. And the meals consist of infinitely more meat. And Nutoka, what the hell is Nutoka? Unlike in Italy, you only need to order one dish and it will be cheaper (most of the time) and much more filling. I remember leaving every meal in Italy feeling hungry while complaining to myself that “I could make that.” Anyway, we stayed in hostels along the way that all served great breakfast, notably the one in Salzburg that was like a bed and breakfast – the ladies there even served us. Ray would drink seven cups of tea in the morning, then promptly go to the bathroom.

Salzburg is such a nice, quiet city (even though the hills are alive) that we could see the Altstadt in one day with time to watch kids play each other in a giant game of chess. And by giant, I just mean the pieces are bigger. The kids were awful. And apparently, everyone I was traveling with either played a lot of chess when they were young or was the best player on their high school chess team. Of course, just because you are the best player on your high school chess team does not mean that you will get a discount when you announce that you are 19 and the discounted age is 18 and below. Especially when your friends discuss the strategy to pull out ID’s that don’t have an age on them to act younger than they actually were. Needless to say, that’s why we did not see Mozart’s first instruments. At this point in my life, I am glad that I still look young enough to pull off 14 for another ticket later. Did I say glad? I meant to say that I hate myself.

After getting lost the night before and running down a steep hill that morning, all for the noble pursuit of using public transportation on strict timetables, we made it to Vienna. I learned on this trip that Wiener just means “of Vienna,” since Wien is German for Vienna (they can’t pronounce their W’s). And Wiener Schnitzel is NOT a sausage.

Speaking of pronunciation, I learned during this trip that Kassity not only couldn’t pronounce words like “mudder,” “brudder,” “pitchure,” “exatly,” and “bodder,” but she also had no idea what words such as “pussy” or “cock” meant. And anytime before that when she wouldn’t laugh at jokes that I figured must have been too crude, she just didn’t fully understand. You learn a lot about people during vacation.

Some sightseeing occurred in the days thereafter and I saw the not-so-blue Danube as well as the palaces and museums inside the first district. Free on Saturdays, we went to the MAK, a contemporary design museum that had rows of chairs and glass and featured some modern architecture, things I thought I might be interested in, but just ended up being really confused about. At the Hofburg Palace that day, they had a huge sports festival celebrating every single sport in existence. And I mean every sport. Some featured trampolines, some were jet ski-rollerblade based, and some featured the use of a hang glider. So after taking some free power gels (disgusting), we sat down and watched the band play 99 Luft Balloons, fitting because it was in German. And other than Du Hast, that’s the only song I know in German.

After some rousing chess matches in the hostel bar, inspired by the giant chess match in Salzburg, Ray and I awoke at 6:30 am in order to go back to the Hofburg to see the Vienna Boy’s Choir. It was cute, they dressed in little sailor suits. It was the second mass I had ever been to (the first one was in Italy) and also the best one. Even though all of it was either in German or Latin, I felt like I got the gist of it. Plus churches have amazing acoustics. We went to the Haus Der Musik later that morning and went to the Belvedere and Schloss Schonbrunn, which were both incredible. That night we ate at a chain called the Centimeter, which was known for serving a wheelbarrow full of food that would feed five. Ridiculously good.

I accidently booked train tickets that night that were not for a sleeping car, and we uncomfortably slept in chairs that night and arrived in Munich before sunrise. Ray was so impatient that we left for Oktoberfest at around 9am, and lo and behold, they were still setting up. We walked around and were about to leave when hordes of people dressed in lederhosen came out and we realized we had to grab a table or there would be none left. Our goal was to last as long as possible, but as more and more friendly Germans arrived and the drinking song became more and more frequent, we began having trouble after the 3rd liter.

I did learn a few things though:

1. Not making eye contact during a Prost is supposed to result in seven years of bad sex
2. The words to the german drinking song played every other minute or so
3. How incredibly easy it is to steal the 1 liter steins, that even Ray can do it when drunk
4. Not to listen to Kassity suggesting that I go “roll down a hill” after drinking too much because I obviously will do something that stupid and end up throwing up afterwards.

I think I woke up hours later on the hillside (how did i get there? when did everybody else buy candy?) as an Australian girl woke me up. I found Ray passed out alongside me with a trail of puke on the ground next to him. Yucky. Tai and Kassity apparently left us after we said we would be okay and had gone back to the hostel.

The next morning we decided to take it easy and drink a little bit but focus our efforts on stealing those steins for some quality souvineirs. We ate at the Augustiner Biergarten again (great food, friendly germans) and explored the city of Munich during the last day. At the English Garden, old people are allowed to sunbathe in the nude, something I will always remember. Since I’ve been back, I can breathe for the first time, and I haven’t had the energy to do much of anything except sit around and make unhealthy meals. But Ryanair is having a promotion for free flights and I have to think of somewhere else to go ….

Careful.

Back from another vacation. This picture was taken on the hillside below the Bavaria Statue at Theresienwiese during the annual Oktoberfest celebration. Although I may have forgotten some of the events focused around this point, we collectively made off with six steins as souvenirs. More to come shortly.